Main Exhibit · Parenting During War · Expo

Introduction

What does it mean to be a parent in a time of war?

How do you raise a child as Ukrainian when you are away from home and under constant threat?

Here, we explore the lived experiences of Ukrainian parents and caregivers as they navigate the impossible task of raising children during the Russia-Ukraine war. Through four deeply personal testimonies, these stories reveal the emotional and physical labour of caregiving in wartime, communicating how adults protect and explain war to children, and the effects of trauma on parent-child relationships.

Together, these testimonies show how parents and children negotiate trauma, language, and identity in wartime. From a young mother who gave birth in exile, to a grandmother caring for her granddaughters while displaced, all stories are bound by a common thread: the profound love and fear that defines parenthood in wartime. Whether it be shielding a child from the sound of airstrikes, explaining the absence of a destroyed home, or deciding whether to flee across borders, these caregivers grapple with decisions that hold deep emotional and moral weight every day, all while trying to guarantee their own survival.

Three of the four testimonies come from forcibly displaced families, adding a powerful dimension of how war uproots place, memory, and routine. Even as they guide children through bombings and instability, these caregivers reflect on how this war will shape their children’s future identities and memories, sometimes choosing silence or gentler truths to shield their children from the full weight of reality. What’s more, parents and caregivers actively work to preserve cultural identity and memory, even as war separates them from home. Many describe feelings of burnout, anxiety, and helplessness, reminding us that the mental health impact of war is compounded for those caring for others.

By focusing on the intimate realities of caregiving, this exhibit speaks to broader themes of trauma, language, memory, place, and identity. It reveals how war doesn’t only cause physical damage to nations and their citizens, but seeps into the intimacies of bedtime routines and conversations between generations. These personal accounts capture the dual burden many parents and caregivers share: surviving the war themselves, while also trying to preserve their children's sense of safety, identity, and hope.

Testimonies from the War

Testimony 1561

27-year-old woman from the Ternopil region, forcibly displaced in 2022 during late pregnancy.

This testimony follows a young mother who fled Ukraine shortly before giving birth and raised her newborn in isolation abroad. Her story of repeated displacement, maternal resilience, and emotional suppression illustrates the long-term trauma and effects of war on new parents and their mental health. Her reflections on her daughter’s future and longing to reconnect her with their homeland speak to the complexities of raising a child away from home, and demonstrate how war disturbs not only place and routine, but also the narratives parents construct about family, belonging, and memory.

Testimony 773

38-year-old mother from the Dnipropetrovsk region who remained in Ukraine during the war.

This testimony, from a mother who remained in Ukraine with her two young children after her husband left during the war, reveals the emotional toll of caregiving alone amidst prolonged conflict. She describes feelings of fear, isolation, and apathy, which shed light on the psychological cost of parenting under constant threat. Mentions of trauma, shared through a sense of “constant tension” and stories of being “covered with tears”, as well as a consideration of place with her ideations of leaving Ukraine, highlight the tension between surviving and belonging, and the constant concern over child wellbeing.

Testimony 121

38-year-old mother from the Donetsk region, forcibly displaced after the destruction of her home.

This parent describes the guilt of not evacuating sooner, and the grief of leaving behind a destroyed home. The testimony offers a poignant perspective on memory, parenting through displacement, and the adaptation challenges of refugees, as she attempts to shield children from violence while mourning the loss of home. It also expresses the role of language in parent-child relationships through war, notably by the mother not answering her children’s questions about their displacement, showing a balance between honesty and emotional protection in a parent-child bond.

Testimony 916

63-year-old grandmother from the Zaporizhzhia region, forcibly displaced in the middle of 2022.

This testimony, from a grandmother caring for young granddaughters, reflects the intergenerational transmission of memory, child adjustment while displaced, and the struggle to preserve cultural identity under occupation and conflict. Her voice channels both personal terror and protective tenderness, particularly in her efforts to shield the children emotionally by controlling the language of war and reframing threats to uphold Ukrainian pride. This story adds complexity to the exhibit by showing how caregiving roles extend across generations, and how war disrupts both physical safety and cultural identity.